Today in History: November 30th

Always loved to look back and see what had happened to us in the past, here is what i found:

1947 November 30, WAR OF INDEPENDENCE (Eretz Israel)

This day marks the beginning of the first stage of the Israeli War of Independence as a bus near Lydda (Lod) was attacked and five of its passengers killed. The Arabs proclaimed a general strike and attacked the commercial quarter near the Old City of Jerusalem. This stage, fought mostly against local Arabs with some foreign help, ended May 15, 1948, when the British left the country. The second stage of the war began on May 16, and was fought against regular Arab armies. This ended on July 20, 1949, with the signing of a cease fire agreement with Syria.

Trying to concevie and your relationship

Who ever has tried conceiving for more then 6 months can tell you how anxiety provoking it can be. Many couples feel surprised that they cannot conceive and for a very long time they may even deny that they are having any problems. Both of you may feel isolated from the other and from their friends who... off course are effortlessly having babies (or your think).
I would start with, you are not alone!
Here are some numbers I found on the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

• Number of married women ages 15-44 that are infertile (unable to get pregnant for at least 12 consecutive months): 2.1 million
• Percent of married women ages 15-44 that are infertile: 7.4%
• Number of women ages 15-44 who have ever used infertility services: 7.3 million

... but, whoever has tryed for over 6 months can tell you that she can care less about those statistics. You want that baby and you want it now. Looking back at my situation, any pregnant women who walked around me was a reminder that... I may never be a mom.

My first advise for women who are trying to conceive is to not tell anybody. You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself and your partner. I would read a little more about when you ovulate
and I would be open with my husband about how i feel (He is probably feeling the same feelings that you are feeling). The reason why i say to look into the exact time that you ovulate is because making a baby can get tiring. Many couples actually say it becomes a job and they stop enjoying the act of making love. You can only get pregnant 2-3 days during the month (that's it!), so making sure you work on it during those days! You can look into getting an Ovulation kit if you are not sure about when you ovulate.

I can tell you that if you are able to connect with your husband during this difficult time, your relationship will be made stronger and will bring you closer. Try to support each other and DO NOT 'BLAME' the other. Promise, it will take you NO WHERE!!! Your partner will never forget it.

Showing your partner that you love them and care for them is very important during this time.

OFF COURSE ASK YOUR DOCTOR FIRST, BUT MOST LIKELY if you are less then 35 years old, your doctor will make you wait at least a year (of trying) before recommending to look into it further. If you are 35+ they usually ask you to wait 6 months.

if you need somebody to talk too, you can contact me womenofchabad@gmail.com

Infertility Demonstration Program-New York

Are you a resident of New York?

You might be eligible to get 1-2 FREE In-Vitro Fertilization cycles.

Who qualifies for this program? Enrollment criteria are simple. A woman needs to be a New York State resident with a diagnosis of infertility who is at least 21 years of age, but not older than 44, has private health insurance that either does not cover IVF or whose insurance benefits for IVF have been exhausted, and be an acceptable candidate with a likelihood of a successful outcome, and have no medical contraindications for pregnancy. If qualified, patients pay a cost share amount, based on their total household income level, ranging from 2.5 percent of the total costs to 97.5 percent of the costs.

Contact: NYS Infertility Demonstration Program

Know of a good Doctor who deals with issues of infertility?

If you are in the State of New York (Manhattan Area), from NYU Dr. Jamie Grifo.
He is Jewish, understands the ways of Halacha and he is GOOD. Do not expect him to be nice, but he will (most likely) give you a baby!

James A Grifo M.D., Ph.D

Help a women and share with us a doctor that you know that you, your friend, sister... have used. You might help bring a miracle baby into this world.

A Note to Women of Chabad

Dear Woman of Chabad,

My name is Shirli and I am a Marriage and Family Therapist. I have started this Facebook group because I am extremely dedicated to educating and advising of Lubavitch women in matters of intimacy and marriage. No, I am not "Frum" like you but I have had many clients and friends that are and I have a good understanding of your lifestyle, and the pre marriage education that you received in "Kallah classes". I would like to take over where your Kallah teacher left off. Now that you are married I am sure that you have issues in your marriage that you would love to discuss but you are too embarrassed to speak to your mom, sister, or friends about such private personal matters. That is where I come in. In this group you will be able to ask questions anonymously and I will guide you to the best of my ability. This is NOT therapy, this is guidance. Obviously I am not a Rav and I do not know every halacha but you should ask your Rav to clarify that I am advising you correctly. In addition I know many of you could share your experiences with each other on this page which could benefit your friend in making them a better mother, better wife and most importantly a woman who feels content. This group is open to women ONLY, I want this place to be a safe place for you.
Sincerely Yours, Shirli